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News: This site is parody/satire. We assume Glenn Beck did not rape and murder a young girl in 1990, although we haven't yet seen proof that he didn't. But we think Glenn Beck definitely uses tactics like this to spread lies and information. Also, please note that the views expressed are those of the posters, and not of this site.
 
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Author Topic: Recess 4  (Read 349 times)
Mercdoc
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« on: December 27, 2009, 10:03:59 AM »

Ok after much soul searching ( it's a short journey ) I have come up with a different tact to explain the relevence of Mr. Beck....

A herd of cows are largely a paternal organization. The dominant males lead the way typically to grazing areas and generally establish their pecking order in preparation for mating season. Eat more, grow bigger sire more offspring. The basic cycle of life for the bovine. ( not to be confused with the " eat more, grow bigger, get eaten" perspective we take on the bovine )As it happens at various points in the season the dominant males don't really know where to go, what their next move is as it were. They are expected to know but they don't.
Adolescent cows are not that different from adolescent humans. They are prone to frolic around without direction when the fancy strikes them. Chasing butterflies for instance. These activities can be useful to the herd if recognized.
let's say a random adolescent cow suddenly begins chasing a butterfly and veers off from the herd. The dominant males take notice of the rogue cow and stop the herd due to the distraction. The Mother of the rogue cow, in keeping with it's maternal instinct follows the rogue cow, inciting others ( they are not free thinkers as a rule ) to simply "follow the ass in front of you".
The dominant males having no definite plan of their own, use the distraction to look for one. Lo and behold well over the head of the rogue cow, in that general direction there appears to be a very lush grassy area. Great swaths of the herd, following the ass in front of them, have already began turning anyway.
The dominant males quickly change course and pull up along side the rogue cow and, greatful for the distraction, briefly allow him to travel at their side. The rogue cow is unaware of why he has been elevated to the lofty status he now enjoys but ambles along, head held high anyway.
As they appraoch the lush area the rogue cow is rewarded with a swift kick to the noggin forcing him back to his humble roots and the dominant males assume their position as is their right.
Now if there were no deserving dominant males, merely inexperienced ones it might be assumed by cows unfamiliar with cow politics that the rogue cow might have the answers. In the absence of any direction it may have appeared the rogue cow was in fact leading the way. The butterfly chasing may just have been a clever ruse hiding a deep understanding of cow politics.
If Mr. Beck chooses to chase butterflies he has that right. if we choose to "follow the ass in front of us" we cannot complain where we end up. ( truthfully they all end up as a steak or hamburger patty ).
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Glenn.Beck
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Posts: 61


You were not even there, how could you say?


WWW
« Reply #1 on: December 27, 2009, 10:12:31 PM »

If you step out of your place, steak. Nom nom nom.

Stay in your place, steak. Nom nom nom.

You are steak, here me roar.



I am Glenn Beck, you are a cow.
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Smart warriors may lose individual battles, as a strategy to win the whole war. Suckers.
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